Some non-adoption persons out there won’t know what I’m talking about in this article. Maybe some families who have adopted but don’t have children with the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) diagnosis won’t understanding. But there is more adoption trauma than what happened to the adopted child that occurs in an adoptive family. I have seen it over and over with the adoptive families in my circle of Life Coaching and influence.
Here is what I am referring to:
- There is such a high occurrence of jealousy from the adopted child against the biological child in an adoptive family. It is very common that the biological child receives a large portion of passive aggressive and aggressive behaviors from the adopted child.
- Some of the symptoms of RAD are:
> Blatant Lying
> Stealing
> Destructive to things, themselves and others
> Cruelty to animals
> Being self-absorbed
> Having shallow interactions
> Being emotionally manipulative
> Can’t reason situations to the end result
> Have poor impulse control
> Don’t develop relationships with piers easily
> Are fascinated with fire
> Their social relationships can be inappropriate
- In some cases, all of these symptoms are aimed at the biological child to get them in trouble. They like to emotionally manipulate the adoptive parents but especially the adoptive father. They come to the adoptive family with RAD symptoms and said symptoms are what they use to get their needs met. Their needs possibly haven’t ever or have rarely been met.
- They have a need to try and emotionally dismiss the adoptive mother and biological siblings out of the family so they can be in a place of authority along with the adoptive father.
- At other times the RAD adopted child is successful in deceiving the adoptive parents into thinking it is the biological child that did something wrong when it was the RAD child all along. This puts the relationship between the biological child and the biological parents in jeopardy. It tears down any trust the biological child had with their biological parents.
- After many of these manipulative situations have occurred, the biological child sees that their parents are struggling to parent the RAD adopted child and choose to being silent, very obedient or perfect so their parents won’t have added struggles. Sadly, this puts a blockage between the biological child and their parents because the biological child is then left to deal with life and situations in the family alone. Their belief that they are significant and loved by their biological parents is severely attacked.
There are so many examples where the biological child experiences trauma in an adoption situation. I would love to help. Please call 330-953-3993 or email [email protected] Maybe your biological child has a broken heart or has trauma that needs released out of their body.